Firstly, my newest Outdoors column is maybe essentially the most profound and insightful little bit of movie criticism ever written:
I notice this tremendously colourful and entertaining column could tempt you to observe the film, and I strongly counsel you not yield to that temptation, as a result of it’s not good and serves solely as fertile soil for bike-themed satire.
Secondly, I noticed it, you noticed it, all of us noticed it–the president fell of his bicycle:
Media shops have been fast to notice that he was sporting a helmet:
Nonetheless, to my information, none famous how silly it was that he was utilizing toe clips:
Wait, really the Put up did, and I admit I’m shocked they appear to be the one non-cycling outlet to do a deep dive on his bicycle.
Anyway, the job of the Secret Service as I perceive it’s to guard the president. Given this, it’s a dereliction of responsibility to permit a 96 year-old man to trip a bicycle with toe clips. There may be completely no want for foot retention when driving a bicycle on this style. They may as effectively have put him in a smock that mentioned, “Repeal the Second Modification!” and turned him free in a gun vary.
I imply, severely…why?
Effectively, in all probability as a result of the bike got here with them, as somebody famous on Twitter:
To not get too political right here, however in the case of bikes this administration is a large number. First they despatched Boris Johnson a glorified metropolis version Langster and paid revered framebuilder Stephen Bilenky a measly $1,500 for it:
By the best way, that’s $1,500 in 2021 {dollars}, which as we speak attributable to inflation can hardly purchase you a quart of milk–and Lob assist Bilenky if the poor man invested it within the inventory market!
Then they make the World’s Greatest Fred the “particular envoy for local weather:”
It doesn’t matter what your emotions about local weather change, I’m certain we will all agree you possibly can routinely low cost something anyone who owns each a Serotta and a non-public jet has to say on the matter.
Now they lash a centenarian president’s ft to the pedals of an outdated hybrid and ship him off to nearly sure demise:
I’m certain they verify his automobile for bombs, so that you’d assume the least they might do was verify his bike for toe clips. This has all of the hallmarks of an assassination try. Someone ought to in all probability interrogate the vice chairman.
